That Darn Photoshop!

And after the heart attack...go and do it all over again!

Goodbye, Holiday Season!

Whatever normal is!

The Search is Over!

                                         At last, after so many years, I have just found myself!

"There I am!"

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas tree...

                                                           ...we'll see you until next Yuletide Season!

It's Coming! It's Coming!

The Cheap Christmas Tree

As long as the little lights are twinkling and the Christmas spirit is big...who cares about the size?

THE FINGER CRACKER

Goes without saying!

The Part-Time Grinch in Me!

Don't get me wrong! I love Christmas and all that is related to it but...

I sure hate the crowds at every store, restaurant and shopping mall!

Warning The Grandkids!

CHRISTMAS SEASON IS HERE!

The undeniable signs of Yuletide are too obvious to ignore...since October!

BACK IN 1951

Now anyone can have their picture on the front page of any newspaper.

Thank you, Photoshop!

The 2024 Halloween Season!

NO MORE LONELY NIGHTS (OR DAYS)!

Is your life dull, boring, listless, empty and completely devoid of excitement? In other words, have you become an apathetic, lackadaisical sorry imitation of a human being? Well, you can forget about that and begin to enjoy your days with this fabulous alternative to lonely days and/or nights!

 Introducing the Celebrity Life-Size-Cutouts Party Kit! 

Yes! For only a nominal monthly fee you can rent (with an option to buy), these fantastic life-size celebrity cutouts to fill your sad, cold and empty apartment! There is a vast and almost unlimited stock of celebrities, past and present, to choose from. And you can interchange and replace them whenever you like to fit your moods or seasons. Feeling nostalgic? There's Marilyn, Bogie, Laurel & Hardy and Raquel to refresh your memories of better times! Maybe you're playful...then get Willie Wonka or perhaps thrills and adventure are your cup of tea. If so,  Sean Connery as 007, or Steve McQueen as Bullitt can lead the way.

Want something current in politics? Vote for Kamala Harris! Or if sexy and luscious is more to your taste, then why not invite Mariah Carey, Taylor Swift, Britney Spears or Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Elaine Benes to a delightful and intimate evening? Whatever turns you on, we've got it! 

Transform your dingy, cold apartment from this............................................................To this!

Yes, folks! It's just that simple.

(Notice: The guy in the center of the picture wearing the tuxedo is not included. He's just a client. )

Special thanks to Photoshop!

The Senior Freeze-Frame Effect!

ACTING! (An Ongoing Tutorial)

It doesn't take years of practice and learning of techniques to become a consummate thespian. 

Just keep your cool, always be focused on your performance and fake it as much as you can even in difficult situations.  But above all, never let your stupidity show!

The Armchair Philosopher!

ZOOM Filters

When you're doing ZOOM meetings, it's always a good idea to try and look your best!

CLARINETITIS!

First performed in 1697, William Congreve's play The Mourning Bride includes as its first line, “Music hath charms to soothe the wild beast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak,” implying that the rhythm and sounds in music can calm even one with a violent, aggressive nature. In the matter of my clarinet playing, it has a quite different effect!

IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING!

 

WONDERFUL SUMMERTIME!