Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Thursday, November 21, 2024

Thursday, October 10, 2024

NO MORE LONELY NIGHTS (OR DAYS)!

Is your life dull, boring, listless, empty and completely devoid of excitement? In other words, have you become an apathetic, lackadaisical sorry imitation of a human being? Well, you can forget about that and begin to enjoy your days with this fabulous alternative to lonely days and/or nights!

 Introducing the Celebrity Life-Size-Cutouts Party Kit! 


Yes! For only a nominal monthly fee you can rent (with an option to buy), these fantastic life-size celebrity cutouts to fill your sad, cold and empty apartment! There is a vast and almost unlimited stock of celebrities, past and present, to choose from. And you can interchange and replace them whenever you like to fit your moods or seasons. Feeling nostalgic? There's Marilyn, Bogie, Laurel & Hardy and Raquel to refresh your memories of better times! Maybe you're playful...then get Willie Wonka or perhaps thrills and adventure are your cup of tea. If so,  Sean Connery as 007, or Steve McQueen as Bullitt can lead the way.
Want something current in politics? Vote for Kamala Harris! Or if sexy and luscious is more to your taste, then why not invite Mariah Carey, Taylor Swift, Britney Spears or Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Elaine Benes to a delightful and intimate evening? Whatever turns you on, we've got it! 


Transform your dingy, cold apartment from this............................................................To this!
Yes, folks! It's just that simple.

(Notice: The guy in the center of the picture wearing the tuxedo is not included. He's just a client. )
Special thanks to Photoshop!

Thursday, September 26, 2024

ACTING! (An Ongoing Tutorial)

It doesn't take years of practice and learning of techniques to become a consummate thespian. 
Just keep your cool, always be focused on your performance and fake it as much as you can even in difficult situations.  But above all, never let your stupidity show!

Thursday, August 29, 2024

Thursday, August 22, 2024

CLARINETITIS!

First performed in 1697, William Congreve's play The Mourning Bride includes as its first line, “Music hath charms to soothe the wild beast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak,” implying that the rhythm and sounds in music can calm even one with a violent, aggressive nature. In the matter of my clarinet playing, it has a quite different effect!

Saturday, August 10, 2024

THE WONDERS OF PHOTOSHOP


I have yet to discover how to use the recent AI technology in my photographs and artwork but mostly thanks to Photoshop, I've been able to transform some of my wildest dreams into images that illustrate what my fantasy world would be like if I could just tweak it a bit and make it all come true!












Thursday, August 1, 2024

PARIS 2024 OLYMPIC GAMESSZZZ

Maybe the Olympic Games are something really exciting and universally regarded as a spectacle
 chock-full of thrills and spills but to yours truly, they are just one big snooze fest!

Thursday, July 25, 2024

THE FLY WHO BUGGED ME

For whatever the reason, there was a sudden invasion of flies in my apartment a few days ago and, rather than fill the place with toxic insecticide fumes to annihilate them, I went for the direct approach and attacked them with my trusty fly swatter.  One by one, I stalked and hunted the little varmints, executing the kill with amazing accuracy, although I must tell you... I discovered there was one fly much bigger than the rest.

Saturday, July 20, 2024

MAN STEPPED ON THE MOON 55 YEARS AGO!

 On July 20, 1969, astronaut Neil Armstrong became the first person to walk on the moon, one of the greatest technological achievements in human history.



Thursday, July 11, 2024

RECOLLECTIONS

 

                               I guess when it comes to aging, it's all about going back to basics!

Thursday, July 4, 2024

FRIENDS WHO SENT ME BIRTHDAY GREETINGS...

To all of my Facebook friends who sent me good wishes on my Birthday, I thank you very much and wish you all the best!  All others, pay cash!